You could also check out our stock graphics and pair these sayings up with a graphic to add a little more pizzazz!
| Humor sayings for Wall Words |
| Anyone who says money can't buy happiness doesn't know where to shop. |
| Better days are coming, they are called Saturday and Sunday |
| I don't repeat gossip . . . so listen closely the first time! |
| Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. |
| Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday |
| I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. Groucho Marx |
| A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do |
| A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. |
| I try to lose weight, but it keeps finding me |
| No man has been shot while doing the dishes. |
| When all is said and done, more is said than done |
| A closed mouth gathers no feet |
| A bad day fishing is better than a good day working. |
| Most people want to serve God... but only in an advisory capacity. |
| Crafts Are Cheaper Than Therapy |
| Forbidden fruits create many jams. |
| Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out. |
| Work is for people who don't know how to fish. |
| If guns kill people, then it must be said that pencils misspell words. |
| Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. |
| Dear Lord - if you can't make me skinny... please make my friends fat! |
| Dear Lord, I need your arm around my shoulder, and your hand over my mouth |
| Want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans. Woody Allen |
| Brain cells come and brain cells go.....but fat cells last forever |
| How hard it is for women to keep counsel ! -Julius Caesar, Act ii, Scene 3 |
| Don't spend money you haven't earned to buy things you don't need to impress people you don't like. |
| Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things. |
| If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. -Doug Larson |
| I had to quit jogging for health reasons...My thighs were rubbing together so much my underpants caught on fire |
| If nobody knows the troubles you've seen, you don't live in a small town. |
| There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me—I always feel that they have not said enough. -Mark Twain |
| When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. -Mark Twain |
| If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. |
| Wit is educated insolence -Aristotle |
| A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. -Oscar Wilde |
| Ignorance is bliss only when you have more money than you know what to do with. |
| I sometimes think that God, in creating man, rather overestimated His ability. -Oscar Wilde |
| I can please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking too good either. |
| Give a man an inch and he'll think he's a ruler. |
| Marriage is made in heaven; but then, so are thunder and lightening. |
| Love, honor and negotiate. -Alan Loy McGinnis |
| My wife and I have an agreement. I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine. (Anonymous) |
| Whoever thinks marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't know the half of it. -Franklin P. Jones |
| Husband for sale. Remote included. |
| I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much. Mother Teresa |
| If I can't be seen, I'm on the green |
| Eat Dessert First |
| Lord help me be the person my cat thinks I am! |
| Never trust a skinny cook. |
| Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. |
| I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. |
| The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first. |
| Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? |
| I only golf on days that end with Y. |
| Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth. |
| Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. - Albert Einstein |
| A waist is a terrible thing to mind. |
| He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged. |
| I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. |
| Those who live by the sword... get shot by those who don't. |
| When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. |
| I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. |
| A day without sunshine is like, well, night. |
| Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. |
| Dear Lord, if you can't make me skinny, please make my friends fat |
| He who laughs last thinks slowest. |
| Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. - Winston Churchill |
| A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. - Winston Churchill |
| It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information around. -Oscar Wilde |
| Ignorance is a rare exotic fruit; touch it, and the bloom, has gone. -Oscar Wilde |
| The only duty we owe history is to rewrite it. -Oscar Wilde |
| Work is the curse of the drinking classes. -Oscar Wilde |
| Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. -Oscar Wilde |
| Fashion is what one wears oneself; what is unfashionable is what other people wear. -Oscar Wilde |
| Punctuality is the thief of time. -Oscar Wilde |
| The only thing worse in the world than being talked about is not being talked about. -Oscar Wilde |
| Nothing succeeds like excess. -Oscar Wilde |
| I can resist everything except temptation. -Oscar Wilde |
| I have very simple tastes, I am always satisfied with the very best. -Oscar Wilde |
| Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong. -Oscar Wilde |
| I shall have to die, as I have lived, beyond my means. -Oscar Wilde |
| To regain my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or become respectable. -Oscar Wilde |
| I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. |
| Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering. |
| The opinions expressed by the husband in this house are not necessarily those of the management. |
| Sometimes I wake up grumpy...Sometimes I let him sleep in! |
| 95% of this game is half mental. -Yogi Berra |
| There are only two truly infinite things, the universe and stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe. -Albert Einstein |
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